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Nothing beats dedicating an entire day to staying in bed and having sex. This question allows you to not only ask him a dirty question but also tell him about your dirty thoughts. Ask him this question to find out just how attentive a lover he is. That said, some people aren’t satisfied with just words and need to see what’s going on. Maybe he’s not the jealous type, maybe your man would be excited to see you be with other people. You probably already know, but it can be hot to have him describe exactly what effect you have on him.

How to Talk Dirty to My Boyfriend

Let dirty talk elevate your sexual experience, not hinder it. The sooner you disregard the pressure you put on yourself, the easier exploring the sexual experience will be. You may be comfortable with blurting out the dirtiest thing and using the filthiest language; if so, by all means, go ahead if it’s something your partner will be receptive to. If not, you might want to ratchet it down a bit, until he is more comfortable with that language coming out of your mouth.

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However, I know it can take a minute to get the hang of it and let the naughty juices start flowing before you feel comfortable ad-libbing your own. Role play might make it easier for you to try out dirty talk if it’s something out of your comfort zone. That way you can practice dirty talk phrases and test the waters of how kinky and sexy the two of you can get in the bedroom. The easiest way to start talking dirty when you’re having sex with your man is to just talk. If your thoughts are sexy, the words will always be dirty. Dirty talk is a great way to enhance good sex, and to turn it into ecstatic sex.

It’s just as much work to carry the conversation in the bedroom as it is during a date, so keep the dirty talk flowing before, during, and after sex. Vocalizing your pleasure guides the action, and delivers fantasies straight from your dreams. Whether you’re role-playing or just adding color commentary to your sex life, dirty talk is a kind of performance. Don’t beat yourself up if you get stage fright. Even a master of analingus can get tongue-tied when trying to emulate the lines of his favorite porn star.

“Many people find dirty talk off-putting or embarrassing because they derive their definitions and expectations from porn,” she says. As Jess O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sexologist points out, there are a few reasons your partner may have hesitations or a negative view of talking dirty. If you’re in a brand new relationship or with a new partner and haven’t talked dirty to one another before, you might not feel sure about how to start engaging in it. Dr. Jansen says it’s best to wait until after sex—“maybe on a walk or hanging out on the couch, not during the sexual moment”—to approach your partner with feedback or check in.

• Along the same lines, letting someone know that you don’t just want them, you want them right now is hot.
• When you are talking dirty to a guy, bear in mind that you are also actually suggesting the two of you get physical and down to all the nasty things that you are describing.
• Check out the chapter dedicated to sending your man sexy dirty text messages here if you want an in-depth guide on this.
• Begin by describing how your partner makes you feel—just verbalizing the fact that they’re turning you on is a great start.

If this is your first-time dirty talking to your man then we understand why you’re nervous. The single best way to start with dirty talk is to just tell your guy that what he’s doing feels good. Perhaps tell him to go deeper, harder, faster.

Remember, there’s a big difference between consensual name-calling and malicious name-calling in, say, the workplace. Just because someone is into erotic massage roleplay doesn’t mean they want to be taken advantage of by a professional masseuse when they go to the spa after a long week of work. Sometimes people just want some love and kinky sexual healing from their partner. “If you’re new to talking dirty, begin with some generous but honest verbal feedback that includes moans, groans, deep exhales, or other sounds to let your lover know that you’re enjoying yourself,” she says. “Phone sex and sexting are often the best ways to practice for in-person dirty talk, because you don’t have to worry about saying the things out loud in front of your partner,” she explains. If you’ve never talked dirty before, don’t worry!

For those of you in a long term relationship, know that this is an imperative skill to have to keep sexual tension and keep sex interesting. We often take our partner’s sexual desires (or even our own) for granted. By talking dirty, you unleash the sexual and sensual conversation. It starts with words you speak, and carries into your physical actions. Are you looking for some helpful examples on how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?

If you find yourself at a loss for words, there’s an easy remedy. Start narrating what you’re doing to your partner’s body and how they make you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to go full-on David Attenborough–style nature documentary (that said, if roleplay is your thing …). But it at least gives you some material to work with until you feel more comfortable coming up with your own original material. You can switch between intensities and work up to that more explicit phrasing, or you can keep things more general; whatever fits your idea of sexy and feels right coming out of your mouth counts. “Dirty talk is categorized as [any] communication during sex that enhances sexual pleasure,” adds Dr. Tara.

Now, please understand I am not trying to offend or insult anyone. If you find “daddy role play” to be a turn on, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Society tells women to be chaste and “classy.” Well, this does not apply to the bedroom. The words trashy and slut should go straight out the window the second any intimate action begins. If you think because you read somewhere or watched something in porn where a woman said something outrageous that you have to imitate… nope, you are wrong.